Steve on life:  You’re never going to be famous, you’re fatter than you think, and most important of all, they don’t keep wearing stockings.

See also:  Mark Taylor, Kenny Phillips

Susan on life:  I want you to remember I intend this breast satirically.

See also:  Becky Johnson

Jeff on life:  Having a girlfriend is like legalised sex.

See also:  Colin Mathews

Jane on life:  I went on a course. Learning to love yourself. I came top.

See also:  Lynda Day, Claire Jackman

Patrick on life:  I like films with lesbians in them because it’s nice to think there are attractive women out there who can’t find a boyfriend.

See also:  Captain Jack Harkness

Sally on life:  I don’t want to look great. I want to look thin.

See also:  Sam Black

Oliver on life:  I don't like those straight up-and-down ankles - they have a hint of furniture.

See also:  Frazz Davies

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